Shmee.Me

August 5, 2013August 5, 2013

Observe The Bourne Legacy!

The Bourne Legacy is a 2012 movie directed by Tony Gilroy. It is the first Bourne movie not to star Matt Damon in the lead role, or any role for that matter, instead it follows Jeremy Renner as Aaron Cross. The movie is okay, which is a shame because I feel like it could have been so much better.

The movie starts out with Aaron Cross up in the Alaskan wilds tracking down red canisters or something it is never really explained. While in the wilds we learn that the old the projects surrounding Jason Bourne are being shut down, and if you are a super-agent that means that they are going to kill you. Cross doesn’t want to be killed, so he fights back and enlists the help of one of the doctors who created the super spies Dr. Marta Shearing (Rachel Weisz) to help him, and then they run from the CIA.

The movie is a pretty basic chase movie. The CIA wants Cross and Shearing dead, so they run. There is no other real motivation than that, but the problem is that chase movies are supposed to be tense tightly edited action movies, and The Bourne Legacy is not. It takes its time to explain the behind the scenes of the CIA Bourne programs, and to talk about Jason Bourne like you always just missed him. He almost haunts this movie like he is just around the corner. It takes the wind out of the sails of this movie, and it wastes the talents of all the great actors they got in the various roles.

The actors are all good, and they do what they can with script, but it just seems like they wasted an opportunity to tell a good spy movie in the Bourne Universe with a spy that actually knows what he can do and how to do it, but instead they just gave us another chase movie because apparently that is what Bourne movie are.

The director frames the action well, and when the movie is focusing on the leads it is good, but he needed a better editor. It was only two hours and ten minutes long but it felt like at least two and a half. It needed someone to pick up the tempo to add tension, but instead they waste time to tell you back story about something you barely remember anyway.

I am being a little hard on this movie, and for what it is it is passible entertainment. I just get upset with the fact if they had a little more ambition it could have been really good. The movie did well enough that they have started a sequel, so maybe now that Cross’s story has been setup they can make something fun.

August 3, 2013November 14, 2013

Shmee Witnesses Sharknado!

Very rarely does a name make a movie popular, but when the name is Sharknado people notice. The movie has been blowing up all over social media due to it ridicules name, and even worse production values, but still is it is a movie that is hard not to enjoy. It was directed by Anthony C. Ferrante and distributed by The Asylum for the SyFy TV network, but thanks to its popularity it was released during mid-night shows around the country, and that is how I got to watch it.

The plot, if you want to call it that, is about Finley ‘Fin’ Shepherd (Ian Ziering (That guy from 90210)) trying to save his family and friends from a Sharkicane(?) that is about to hit LA, but along the way he stops randomly to save people, but things get worse when the Sharkicane starts off a bunch of … wait for it … Sharknados. Which they fight, yes they fight the Sharknados, with hardware store bombs.

Some (most) of the scenes in this movie defy explanation, and my brain would come out of his hibernation and go, “Hay wait a minute!”, and I would be like, “Not now brain!”, and he would be like, “But, but, but …”, and then the logic abuse from the movie would make him pass out again.

The actors all seemed to know what kind of movie this was, and just have a good time doing whatever this movie required of them, which for the most part was to say and do dumb things. I could see the glint in their eyes when they had to deliver some of the lines in this movie, and they were so close to busting up.

Thanks to a featurette after the movie, I know that the director thinks he was making a pretty much an ‘A’ quality movie because he used a crane, but I can tell you that he was excessively wrong. The special effects were bad, the shots were framed and blocked poorly. It was decidedly ‘B’ all around. This movie was made for late night drive in movie theaters, and it is a shame that there aren’t enough around for movies like this to be seen in their natural habitat.

The director was convinced that he was making a good movie, and despite the facts that the acting was wooden, the special effects were abysmal, the plot was preposterous, and the general filming was dire. I cannot disagree with him because move had one thing in its favor: it was completely entertaining, and I left the movie grinning from ear to ear. That could also be because I watched it with a good group of friends that helped me make fun of it the whole time, but still it was fun, and that is all that counts.

August 2, 2013August 2, 2013

No More Ryan Reynolds in Comic Book Movies!

Can we please just stop with Ryan Reynolds! I recently put up five dudes that I would like to be the next Batman, and coincidently while at O’Reilly’s auto-parts I heard a lady say something horrifying, “They should make Ryan Reynolds the new Batman, he would be fun!” NO, NO he would not!

Look Ryan Reynolds is a good looking fella, and he has decent comedic timing, but I think he should just stick to the comedy genre. He has already killed enough comic book movies. Don’t believe me? Here is the list: Blade: Trinity, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Green Lantern, and as of right now R.I.P.D. Now I have not seen R.I.P.D, and given the reviews, I don’t plan on it, but I have seen the other three and they are incredibly bad, and with his latest failure he has killed a franchise from, DC, Marvel, and now Dark Horse. That is the three of the big four right there!

Now you could be saying, “Those movies would have been bad without Reynolds!” Maybe so, but we have no way of knowing. What I do know is that he has tried four times to make it in comic book movies and all of them have been disasters, and he as been awful in all four movies. I don’t care how attractive he is or that he has some charisma: he is super hero poison, Kryptonite has nothing on Ryan Reynolds. He has now lost hundreds of millions of dollars for movie studios.

If he is cast as Batman someone is going to get shot, and that is probably not an exaggeration. There are millions of comic book fans and some of us are a little unhinged. Luckily I am pretty sure the lady at the auto-parts store doesn’t work for Warner Bros, she is just from Vancouver and trying to push the local talent, so we should be safe, but still it is a terrifying thought.

August 1, 2013August 1, 2013

So DC Does Know How To Make A Wonder Woman Movie!

Wonder Woman is a 2009 direct to video cartoon made by the people at DC Universe and directed by Lauren Montgomery. While it never made it to the big screen, it does show that someone at DC/Warner knows how to make a Wonder Woman movie.

The movie starts off with the Amazons at war with an army of men and mythical creatures, and the army is being led by Ares (Alfred Molina) to fuel his need for war and violence. Queen Hippolyta (Virginia Madsen) is able to defeat Ares, but the gods do not allow her to kill him, but instead she gets to imprison him. For all of the Amazons’ suffering they get a hidden island paradise Themyscira, and to live in peace for all eternity. The Queen also gets a child Dianna (Keri Russell). Their peace and tranquility is disrupted when a pilot Steve Trevor (Nathan Fillion) crash lands on the island, and Dianna starts her journey to become Wonder Woman.

While I am getting a little tired of origin stories at least Wonder Woman’s is a little different. She is a play off Greek culture, and she is truly a super human in all respects, and I love how this movie explains everything without beating you over the head with it. They even explain the stupid invisible jet, and use it in a cool way.

What I like is that they let Wonder Woman be Wonder Woman. They didn’t make her some scrappy ninja type spinning and jumping around, no she gets in there and brawls with the bad guys and deals and takes a ton of punishment. It is a credit to Lauren Montgomery to let this character be herself.

The voice actors all do a pretty good job, Nathan Filion and Alfred Molina really got in to it, and Keri Russell was good for the most part, but could be stilted at times. The rest of the actors are hit and miss, but they do not have a ton of screen time anyway.

I liked this movie quite a bit, and it seems sad to me that Warner Bros has people in their company that understand the character, but they can’t seem to hire them to make the big screen movie they keep promising, and it is a real shame since a good female super hero would be a nice change from the pretty much all male crew we have now.

July 31, 2013July 31, 2013

Shmee Decides The New Batman!

So with Christian Bale and Christopher Nolan done with Batman, and DC/Warner Bros planning a Batman versus Superman movie it begs the question, “Who will be the new Batman?” I have made five choices for Warner Bros, and I expect them to use one of them to make me happy, so here they are in descending order.

5: Joseph Gordon-Levitt

They all but set him up to be the new Batman in the Dark Knight rises, so even if they throw out the Dark Knight trilogy of films, I think audiences would except JGL as the new Batman. He is a little short, but he is young and could wear the cape and cowl for years to come.

4: Jon Hamm

It might be hard to see Don Draper as Batman, but he would make one heck of a Bruce Wayne, and everything I have seen Hamm in leads me to believe he is a great actor and he figure out how to be Batman as well. Plus he gives off an aura of wisdom that Bats would need to beat the crap out of Sups.

3: Nikolaj Coster-Waldau

You man not recognize the name, but you may know him as Jaime Lannister. He is kind of the opposite of Jon Hamm in that he is easy to see as Batman, but harder to picture as Bruce Wayne, I think that is because he is blonde, but he would do a good job, and do fellow blonde Bruce Val Kilmer proud.

2: Jack Huston

He is probably the least recognizable name on this list, but I think that works for him instead of against him. He has proven to be a very talented actor on Boardwalk Empire as the disfigured Richard Harrow, and it has given him practice behind a mask, and even as a guy I am willing to say that he is a good looking fella, so he would be able to play Bruce Wayne.

1: Karl Urban

He already did the ultimate test screening for Batman in Dredd. The emotions he can bring with just his jaw are amazing, and considering his resume: Lord of the Rings, Start Trek, he was the best part of Doom, and of course Dredd, I have no reason to doubt anything he does, and if I am going to believe Batman can trash Superman, he is the Dark Knight to do it!

Since this is the internet, I am sure you think I am wrong, so please leave your pick for the new Mr. Wayne.