I watch the Rankin/Bass classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer every year, but I am usually decorating, or doing other Christmasy sorts of things. This year I really watched it, and I have a few observations:
- The people of the North Pole are jerks. All of them. Santa is the worst. Telling a little baby deer that he will never pull the sleigh with his red nose. I wanted to punch that old tubby dude.
- Apparently all you need to be a dentist is to read a book and practice on dolls. That is all Hermey does and he gets his own office at the end of the movie. We are on to you dentists!
- Does (a deer, a female deer) are not to be listened to. They want to help or tell you something important it is cool just to tell them it is mans work and move on. Even though last time I checked deer aren’t men they are bucks so…
- How do they know that the Abominable Snowman hates Christmas? Have they asked him? I think he is just hungry, and deer are delicious.
- None of the toys on the Island of Misfit toys are bad. They all have minor problems, and some aren’t even problems. I think they are all there because King Moonracer the griffin is lonely.
- On that note King Moonracer can fly, why doesn’t he just tell Santa about the island himself? He is a pretty crappy King.
- So Rudolph is out by himself for months, and his family is out looking for him for that long as well? The people of the North Pole really are jerks if they didn’t send out a search party for the family.
- When Yukon Cornelius knocks the Abominable over the cliff, no one checks on him even though two of them can fly. Rudolph and Donner are like, “Welp lets get these women home”. It would have taken like two minutes.
- Lastly, why does Rudolph’s nose make noise? It is so odd. Shiny sure, but it sounds like a bad florescent bulb. That is why I wouldn’t hang out with him.
Well there are my observations. I hope you had fun reading them.